Do you ever find yourself dwelling on things that have happened in the past, overthinking and obsessing about the way a conversation went or how you reacted in a certain situation? And then having those awful regrets about what you did or didn’t say or do?
I know this feeling all too well and although I did share in my last post that I am learning to forgive myself and letting go of things I cannot change, not to my surprise, it is easier said than done. I am bringing this up again because I am constantly battling with this issue of being so hard on myself that I go into this downward spiral which sometimes lasts for days. I was telling a close friend about this never-ending circle of mine and she helped me break down a scenario I recently went through and it really got me thinking about how I obsess over things instead of understanding why they happened and learning from them and that’s exactly what I did.
She asked me some great questions that really got me thinking:
- Why is this bothering me so much?
- What is it about the situation that I am disappointed about? This is how you are feeling specifically about the situation you are reflecting upon.
- What do I wish I could change and why? Essentially here I am trying to understand how changing something will impact the way I feel or outcome of the situation.
- What did I learn from this experience?
- What actions am I going to take so I don’t go through this again?
- What have I learned about myself that I can work on to help me grow from this?
- After reflecting about the situation and taking note of what I have learned, the hardest part is letting go. We can often feel that if we let go, we are forgetting but that is not the case; when we let go, we are being forgiving and allowing ourselves to grow and move forward rather than staying still and feeling disappointed.
What are some things you do to help you get through tough situations that really leave you feeling uneasy, disappointed, sad or any other emotion of uncertainty?